Back to my Betty

"It’s all in the gravy,” is what John George, a retired college lecturer from Sandwich, told us when prepping his legendary corned beef stew for his and his 97-year-old wife Betty’s supper that evening.

Things were very different for the couple, who have been married for 52 years, this time last year.

Having lived with a painful and debilitating hernia for 18 months, John, 89, was relieved to be finally getting it repaired. Little did he know that his same-day surgery at Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother Hospital in Margate would turn into a gruelling four-month stay.

John, who had worked as an electrician and mechanic after leaving school, was discharged from hospital after a successful operation. Regrettably, a fall at home saw him readmitted.

His physical and mental health declined rapidly after a lung infection led to sepsis and he contracted pneumonia and Covid. John became depressed and lost an alarming amount of weight and muscle strength.

Betty said: “John is such a doer and for him to feel helpless was his worst nightmare. We have looked after each other for years and were suddenly forced apart.”

John said: “I worried about Betty all the time – this was the longest we had ever been apart and at our grand old age, every month, week, even day, together is so very precious.”

John and Betty on their wedding day in 1972

As the weeks passed, John became desperate to get home to Betty, who was being cared for by her two daughters who also live in the town.

Our Community Assessment Bed Team and Rapid Transfer Service worked alongside health and social care services, to constantly monitor John’s progress and personalise his transfer of care.

After consulting with his family, John was transferred to a nearby care home for specialist management of his laryngectomy stoma, which was fitted after he was diagnosed with throat cancer in 2008. This kind of discharge is for people who are not yet fit enough to go home and need longer-term care.

Betty told us: “Once John was medically well enough, he became much more involved in the choices made about his next steps.

“He’s a natural-born leader so to be asked what mattered to him the most was like music to his ears.”

“Together, we made sure everything was in place for when I was well enough to come home,” John confirmed.“I didn’t really want to be there but the care home was the next best thing to being in my own house.”

Our joined-up discharge system makes sure patients are at the heart of every decision we make and improves patient-flow by freeing-up beds in acute hospitals.

Recently, the government has made a bold ambition to invest in and transform the NHS towards a neighbourhood health service, by shifting more care out of hospital and into the community.

This is crucial for patients over 80 as 10 days of bed rest can lead to 10 years of muscle ageing. For patients like John, this means getting them out of a hospital bed and into a home setting as quickly as possible.

KCHFT Assistant Director of Acute Urgent Care, William Anderson explained: “We are responsible for making sure our communities are being cared for in the right place, at the right time.

“We know people get better quicker at home; but in the meantime, it’s up to us to safeguard those who need more dedicated nursing and support by looking after them in the most appropriate setting.”

After almost a year away, John was ready to return home. Betty remembers those first few days vividly: “He marched straight past the hospital bed we had in place as part of his care package, en-route to his own comfy bed upstairs and insisted he only needed a carer to visit once-a-week to help him take a bath.”

John and Betty are supported with long-term wraparound care as part of his ‘release’ as John calls it: “I wanted to feel like me again and choose what to do and when to do it, but the carers are a pivotal part of enabling me to live how I always have – fiercely and unashamedly independently.

Now, the couple, who met through a family friend some years after Betty was widowed, are almost ‘back on track’.

“Our girls, Lesley and Maggie, are amazing – they help us keep on top of all things medical and financial but taking care of our home, and each other, is what we do best,” said John.

“All the time we can, we will; it keeps us young,” added Betty, who ‘runs the hoover round’ most days.

“John has always been the chef in the family, while I’m in charge of cleaning, but our favourite part of the day is sitting together and reading, while the dinner cooks.

“It’s the simple things that mean so much; we missed each other terribly when we were apart and although we’ve always had our own hobbies and interests, we’re happiest at home, together.”

‘Taking care of our home, and each other, is what we do best.’

Rapid Transfer Service - the most suitable care following a hospital stay

Our Rapid Transfer Service provides the most suitable care for people when they are discharged from hospital.

The multidisciplinary team receives referrals from hospitals for patients who need support to continue their recovery in one of our community hospitals, a care home or their own home.

Individual health and social care needs are assessed and discussed with the patient, their family and carers, to make sure the right care package and pathway is in place for the best rehabilitation and recovery.